Here’s the Books from the Life in Hell calendars mentioned earlier:

Continue reading →

Yes, I finally got rid of my old calendars. I was saving them because they were the Life in Hell and Futurama calendars that have good book and movie recommendations in them. So I finally copied them down so I could toss the calendars.

Science Fiction books recommended in Futurama 2004 and 2000:
(If you have any of the intervening years or can get me an ’05, I wouldn’t mind that at all.)

Continue reading →

There was another Jack Straw in English politics, so there are enough of them to require a disambiguation page in Wikipedia.

For years now, I’ve been alternately horrified and delighted that Britain’s Foreign (then Home—or maybe it went the other way) Secretary is called Jack Straw. Who better to make insubstantial proposals? Now I see that I missed another good one. In the recent row over Prince Harry dressing up as a Nazi, "former royal press spokesman Dicky Arbiter … said [a written apology] was not good enough." Ari Fleischer and Scott McLellan only wish they were called Dicky Arbiter. Hell, I’ve sought all my life to get to be a Dicky Arbiter.

Upper Jiao Damp Heat is the early stage of a Damp Evil invasion. I have nothing to add to that.

Yet again I’m judging entries for the local PTSA’s Reflections essay competition. I’m glad that I only get a binder of entries with designated codes. If I had to meet some of the authors I would never ever stop slapping them. Only halfway through the binder and so far: 3 stories of getting lost while skiing, 4 stories of how their parent is their hero, 2 stories about how great Jesus is, and the obligatory story about how a retarded person will make you grateful for your life (while getting lost on skis). All but 3 of the total are filled with awkward writing, wooden characterization and inappropriate word choices. I know that not everyone is going to be a good writer, but every one of these students should really know how to compose an essay that doesn’t read like it was written by an ESL student with a head injury. No offense to the brain-damaged immigrant population.

Instead of "US show sued for rat-eating stunt", I’d prefer to see "Moron can’t figure out how to change channel; harms self in orgy of idiocy."

I listened to Frank Zappa’s album Broadway the Hard Way an awful lot in college, so no wonder confinement loaf popped back into my head. According to the song, it’s “bean by-products compressed into a loaf, which is administered to problem prisoners. Their diet will be a slice of ‘Confinement Loaf’ and a cup of water, and it seems to mellow them out right away. So my question is: How long before ‘Confinement Loaf’ appears in United States High Schools?”

Similar loaves seem to pop up in the news from time to time, here’s a few:

Continue reading →

Source of many excellent digital poster archives, those groovy Socialist historians in the Netherlands present us with photos of Turkish migrant workers in the Netherlands between 1965 and 1975. No one can do sideburns like Turks in the 70’s! Bonus: the unintentionally-hilarious-in-English caption “Turks brood.”

A later specimen of the cheating housewives spam had a site that was still active, so I was able to go find out the scoop. It turns out

Some married Woman feel they need more than they are getting at home. The Internet is great way to meet local woman who are looking for discreet sexual encounters with local men in their cities. No Strings attached! These ladies are ready and willing to meet right now. They don’t play games. They know what they are looking for they don’t play!!

And

For just $1 you will get full access to our entire horny house wives data base.

They also claim to have loads of adult content available for members, and even if you’re not a member, they’ll send you, "100% FREE PASSWORD SITES IN YOUR EMAIL… NO SPAM JUST FREE PASSWORDS TO TOP ADULT WEBSITES!!" if you’ll just give them your email address.
Somewhat closer reading reveals that the $1 is for a one-day pass to the site. I’m a little surprised that it consistently purports to be a dating site, though I’m guessing they make most of their money selling email addresses.