In today’s movie adventure, my date and I saw Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters and Hot Fuzz. ATHF was, I believe, as good as it could possibly be, with the opening bit better than I could have imagined. I was a little surprised and disappointed that the performance wasn’t Dethklok, but it was still wonderful.
I feel like HF was trying to do too much, but it was still okay.
The real surprise, though, was the previews. I wanted to go see every movie previewed at ATHF except one, and that one I would Netflix, though I might not make it past the first five minutes. Those movies?
Knocked Up
Waitress
Superbad
1408 (my date did not want to see this one, but John Cusack and Sam Jackson sold me despite Stephen King)
The Condemned is the one I would Netflix and wish it was Battle Royale.
Wow, you’re saying to yourself, Craig sure is a big girl. But Seth Rogan and Nathan Fillion, man! They’ve created ideal date movies for nerds. But why?
Author Archives: Craig
How were these still available?
The rush to grab every possible domain name seems to have slowed down a whole lot, because Buffy Season 8 Issue 1 has been out there for more than a month, and thricewise.com and thricewise.org were both still available a few minutes ago (thricewise.everything-else still is, as far as I recall or care).
I bet somebody already grabbed the gmail address, but I don’t care enough to check.
The æons-old battle
The quality is not the best, but I think you get the gist: crows hate seagulls.
Why would you even bring that up?
A reliable rule of thumb: when people accuse others of engaging in some nefarious scheme, or out of the blue aver that they themselves are not engaged in a nefarious scheme, you can count on it that the claimants are engaged in exactly that nefarious scheme. So, clearly, Durex wants to organize “some crazy kind of ’60s love-in.”
But the best part is the name
Jesus Chocolate Christ!
You Suck Review
You Suck, Moore. No. I didn’t hate this so much that I stopped reading it, but I would have if I had had anything else to read. The dedication reads “For my readers, by request,” which may be why the whole thing feels rushed or forced or otherwise off-putting. Here’s a passage that struck me as particularly egregious on first reading, though it doesn’t grate so badly now (maybe I’ve just been beaten into submission):
She was enjoying teaching Tommy about the particulars of vampirism, just as she enjoyed teaching him how to do grown-up human things like how to get the power and phone turned on in the loft—it made her feel sophisticated and in charge, and after a series of boyfriends for whom she had been little more than an accoutrement, whose lifestyles she had affected, from heavy-metal anarchists to financial-district yuppies, she liked being the pacesetter for a change.
Really? There was no better way to get that information to the reader than just laying it out there all at once? And do we really care? I suspect that it’s tempting to indulge in this sort of acceleration in a sequel, where you might want to bring the new readers up to speed without boring the readers who remember the character from the previous work, but I remain unconvinced that it’s a good idea: first, it’s easier to care about the character’s motivations if we have to tease them out of the narrative than when they’re vomited in our laps; second, if the character already has that level of self-knowledge at page 30, how much development can we expect? The story was mostly harmless, though there was a weird bit of gratuitous backstory ex machina, and I found the playing of non-consensual sex for laughs to be rather distasteful.
Update: Google leads me to believe that I have invented the phrase backstory ex machina. First “Buddha attack”, now this.
Lord of Light Review
Lord of Light, Zelazny. Yes. Upon re-reading, I do believe the protagonist in this work is qualitatively different from those I mentioned before, if not so much in himself (and I do believe there are substantial differences in the character, but my argument doesn’t have to rest there) as in having peers, rather than just rivals and perhaps a mentor (and I’m simplifying, but I think not over-). There was some homophobia and misogyny, though an argument could be made that they were posturing by the character to evoke a response. I don’t think Zelazny wrote many gay characters, sympathetic or otherwise. Smokers, yes, even if they have to roll their own cigarettes. I imagine he quit about the time his protagonists did, but it doesn’t seem to have been soon enough for him.
Probably not the most reliable introduction to the Hindu or Buddhist religions.
Is that a legal word?
If you’re playing a word game, and you don’t have a dictionary handy (but do have access to the web), you can find out whether a word is likely to be legal by typing it into the box at What’s the good word? Yes, it’s ugly, but it’s usable from a phone (and I’m not Mr Web Designer anyway). I may build a wml version to make it a little phone-friendlier, but I don’t expect to make the html version any prettier.
The Brief History of the Dead Review
The Brief History of the Dead, Brockmeier. No. The only thing I found wrong with this book was that it failed to fulfill its promise, and its promise was so great that failure is a disqualifying defect. The first chapter was lovely (Nebula-nominated, O. Henry anthology-appearing), and the writing was lovely throughout (if a bit masturbatory in spots), but ultimately, however lovely it was, it took what should have been a big idea and did nothing with it.
The Killing of Worlds Review
The Killing of Worlds, Westerfeld. Yes. The conclusion of The Risen Empire, it’s largely indistinguishable in quality from the prior work. The overall work is somewhat disappointing in plot-related ways. Not Books of Lost Swords disappointing, but it perhaps underscores the difficulty of constructing a plot that justifies the sweep of space opera.