This actually happened yesterday, but one of the friends to whom I sent the story recommended I share it with the world, so here it is:

So, the receptionist comes into my office (actually, she stood in the window beside the door to my office) and asks “Are you squeamish?” I suggest that’s too broad a question, and she asks me to come with her to look at something, and says something about “fish”. So I follow her, and outside the lunchroom door there’s a fish on the floor. The only fish tank in the office is a couple doors down, but on closer examination there are little droplets on the carpet. The fish is looking very departed, but I’m sure that if I touch it, it’ll twitch, and I’ll jump and/or scream. So she finds me the dustpan and some napkins, and I slide it onto the one using the other, and it doesn’t twitch as violently as I expected, but there is some movement, so I drop it into the fish tank, and it just hangs there, but then it moves a little, and looking closely I can see some gill movement. But still, it’s just hanging there, not moving other than the breathing. But when I close the lid, it flips into action, swimming around briefly for real. I don’t think it really wants to live (it did, after all, push open the lid to escape), but at least I’ve given it the opportunity if it changes its mind.