Coming soon to your inbox: “This must be handled in the utmost confidence. I have recently been given control of a certain asset, and need your assistance to get it out of the country. In return for the use of your account, you will retain 50% of the asset. Please forward your lead vault details.”

This also reminds me of the “Lost” posters I used to see at my old workplace. Once, somebody had mis-laid a forklift, but it was usually a 10-foot long crate weighing half a ton or so, containing some vital airplane part. “I know it was here someplace…”