“A nuclear blast is an explosion with intense light and heat, a damaging pressure wave and widespread radioactive material that can contaminate the air, water and ground surfaces for miles around.” The Homeland security apparatus suggests taking cover in the event of a nuclear blast, assessing the situation, and taking appropriate action. I hate to be alarmist or anything, but I’m pretty sure I’ll just die and get it over with.

Strikingly weird: “If there is a significant radiation threat, health care authorities may or may not advise you to take potassium iodide.” May or may not? Whatever.